Having a random hookup so left but love u
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
