If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
