You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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