You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
