Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
