fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
