i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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