i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
