I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
