i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
smell my finger.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
