made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
