The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
