Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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