did you get engaged???
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
