We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
