There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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