I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
