Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This house was built for laser tag.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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