what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize