Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
