I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
