How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
