Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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