So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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