He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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