lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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