i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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