All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
