You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
