5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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