Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
