Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
