I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
