i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
