Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
