My balls are so social today.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
