What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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