Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
