So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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