All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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