i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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