question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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