her vagine was all disorganized.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
