he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
