I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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