Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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