i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
