Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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