I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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