Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
