The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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