I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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