I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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