he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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