Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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