I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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