fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
