Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
