Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
