I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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