just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize