i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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