rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
