You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize