if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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