i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
