During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
