There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
