I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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