If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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