So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
