it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
