let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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