I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
