Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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