My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
