It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
