make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
