Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize