I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
